THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

Just when I started getting back the semblances of my old self... Just when I was being SO DAMN GOOD in my career... Just when I have good well achievable plans laid down for the future... Just when I can reciprocate friendship and loyalty as I fervently did then... Just when I am being my old self in life and love and camaraderie and family... Just when I am learning to be happy once again...

Something like this comes along!

Dragging me back to the reality of how unkind twists of fate and reality is...

I am not here to tug at your heartstrings,
I do not ask for pity,
I only need you to hear
and open your minds,
And see a kindred soul,
Of a brother and sister,
Who lived, who loved, who cared,
Our lives are entwined now,
Perhaps more in death than life,
I ask you too, to continually see,
and appreciate, and fervently grasp,
and praise, LIFE...
Above all, I ask you to remember,
Of how beautiful the passing of life,
When alongside dreams, it goes by....

This was the time when the previous "small" ship I sailed a year ago encountered FORCE 11 gale along the North Coast of New Zealand. All of the 9 member crew had that morbid thought, that dark feeling we could have died anytime the seas and winds and waves were throwing us around like a twig.

But truth be told, I couldn't help but remember my wife's favorite song:BUBBLY.

This song filled me with a morbid sense of gaeity and lent a touch of dark humour to my dangerous predicament. I smiled and fought all my dread, inspired by the remembrance of someone whom I love dearly.

How I wish all my life's storms are just like this. Natural. These storms I could bear as stout hearted as I possible could. But that is not the truth in life, the hardest trials in our lives are the circumstances thrown our way that is so unjust, so unfair and so disheartening.

But I won't be disheartened. I will pursue this fight. For it is a fight for all that is good.

This is not natural, and it is more dangerous. But fight I will. For I know now that the only way I can move on is to dedicate myself for justice, for truth, for that rightful belief that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL.

BECAUSE THE FORCES OF EVIL IN THIS LAND IS NOW AT NUMBER 12. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW. WE NEED TO FIND THE EYE OF THAT STORM, AND FROM THAT VANTAGE POINT, SHOUT OUR INDIGNATIONS, OUR CONDEMNATIONS. AND WE WILL BE HEARD. TO ALL OTHER FIGHTERS FOR JUSTICE AND TRUTH, MAY I BE A WORTHY COMRADE IN YOUR RANKS. HEAR ME. KNOW ME. I COME SEEKING FOR JUSTICE.

beaufort scale- click here






This was on my birthday last July 12, 2009.

The crew set all these up. I was OVERWHELMED. For I knew then, that I am truly getting over my being an emotional vampire. I am becoming my old self again. An optimist. A damn good friend. A loyal companion. Willing to help. Projecting an aura of humility, of brotherhood, of love that inspires affection.

And I was that. And thus I want to remain.

Thank you mateys.

Not all are accorded this honor. I am thankful you have considered me worthy. Of love. Of friendship. I will remember. I will always remember.

How you made all this. How you did me great honor. How you accorded me with respect, a respect that was rightfully earned.

This was my calm before the storm. The storm that assails my life at this very moment. Seemingly tearing it apart. I will hold on to memories such as this. For these memories will strengthen me. How in a short span of time (4 months), I have shown strangers my capacity for friendship and camaraderie. How they willingly returned it. My big heart goes out to you all. You've made my third decade of existence a grand affair. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!






This was still on that 30th birthday. The natal day of a brother who loved a sister.

I would like to share this clip to you, for it is my sister's favorite song. Everytime I sang this song I remembered her. Everytime I will sing this song I will continue to remember her.

It will not sadden me. Instead this song will strengthen me, keeping my bearings clear and straight and true. My resolve absolute. For it remind me always of a life that was lived and was taken away hideously.

There is a haunting beauty to this song. A haunting resonance that will continue to embolden me.

I would like to share it to all of you.





This is still on that fateful day.

I have placed this song here as my reminder. That I am not without flaws. For I have many. And one of this is hurting one of the most important person in my life.

May this also remind her, that I loved her so and I love her still.

And that I will keep her in my heart wherever life takes me from here. That the memory of her will be the anchor that will keep me from drifting to dangerous shoals.



THIS WERE MY MOMENTS, MY CALM BEFORE THE STORM.

AND I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.

TO DEDICATE IT TO FRIENDS WHO STOOD BY ME.

WHO ACCORDED ME THAT HONOR, THAT WORTHINESS OF BEING CALLED:

"FRIEND"

TO MY FAMILY.

TO MY WIFE.

AND FINALLY TO MY CHILDREN.


I WOULD LIKE TO STATE THEIR NAMES HERE.

IN JUMBLED ORDER BUT ALL FONDLY REMEMBERED.

RANDALL, GREG JR, DEWEY, JONAS, JASPER, RAYMOND, MERCK, GAVINO, NORMAN, WILLY, JESSIE, JAYSON, SHCC CLASSMATES, EDCEL, FRANCIS, FRANCIS, DUANE, LOUIE, RODEL, LORDAN, KATHRYN, ANGELICA, YANKEE, LUBERT, RAPHAEL, RONALD, YOLA, MARYANNE, MARICEL, SHARON, JANET, VANESSA, JAYSON, VINCENT, NORBERTO(RIP), MENACHIM, PEEWEE, ELY, ELPEDIO, WALLY, DIANNE, SCIHIGH CLASSMATES, SAINT JAMES CLASSMATES, MY BROTHERS FROM ALPHA KAPPA RHO (BARRETTO CHAPTER), MY BROTHERS FROM KYKLOS TRI ORGANIZATION (BARRETTO CHAPTER), MY BROTHERS FROM BATANG SAMAR-LEYTE (NOVALICHES CHAPTER), MY BROTHERS FROM DREDD (BARRETTO CHAPTER), MY BROTHERS FROM LOA (BARRETTO CHAPTER), MY BROTHERS FROM DIO (OLONGAPO CHAPTER), GERWIN, LLOYD CHRISTIAN, ANGELO, MARTIN LUTHER, JIMMY, JOTHAM A, BROTHAH SIR MANDY, CHUA, BABAG, SIR VILLEDAR, SIR RESPETO, SIR BARCS, SIR BACOLCOL, SIR SAMPA, CLASS MATES FROM ARCTIC, CLASSMATES FROM VEGA, CLASSMATES FROM VENUS,ELISAH, VICENTE, JOEVEN, ROMINUS, FERDINAND A., ATHAN, AYLEEN, IVAN B., JAYSON B., DOMING, RICO, JOEY, MARIO, JERRY, IAN, CARDANO, CHRISTINA C., JULIET, FREDERICK U.D., ILONA, RYAN, BENIDICT D., JIMMY E., JOJIE, LORELIE F., EDERIC, ARNEL, MARK, GREG G., TANYA, JHONG, BETH, ROMEO I., PHILIP J., CARLO J., ALEX MARTIN, GUNTHER PEDERSEN, JIMMY J., AMIR K. PANKHAJ D., LESTER, JANE, GRACE L., LEYSAM L., MAHYEN, MHAR, MAYA, JOEL NGIPS, ATE NI, CARMELA, NICK, MEL JOHN, DANILO P., LESTER P., ERICK P., MULONG P., PATMAN, RONALYN P., JAKE P., DANIEL P., ANGELO P., ARNEL P., DOCTOR P., ERWIN P., JZRYL, BOSS DAN, CREW OF ST MARTIN, RYAN T., EZEQUEL T., ROBIN T., RODEL U., JEBBIE A., ROGELIO U., LEONILO U., CHRIS V., KJELL M., PETER, MARICAR B.,DUDAY, ANNABELLE, RACEL S., LA, DAVE, ERNIE JAY, JHUN B, PANGI, ELMER T, ELAISA, BERNARD C, RANDALL B, EUGENE, FLEUR, GADO, FREDELYN, GARY T, JAZZEN, JEFF, ONG DARRYL JONES, RONNIE O, KELLY KIT, KRISTOFFER, DAYDAY, JOY, MAILEEN, MARIVIC M, MARK, MELDON, NONIE, MIKE LIMA NOVEMBER, BARBOSA, PEEAY, ROBERT D, STEVE MARK, FRITZ VON, THOMAS D, ARNO P, WOUTER E, MY BROTHERS FROM PMMA,


IT IS ONLY NOW THAT I HAVE MADE A LIST SUCH AS THIS. I AM TRULY HUMBLED BY HOW MANY PEOPLE TOUCHED MY LIFE THUS FAR. THIS IS STILL AN INCOMPLETE LIST. THERE ARE MANY MORE NAMES STILL UNWRITTEN.

IF I SHOULD GO, I ONLY ASK FOR ONE THING: FOR YOU TO REMEMBER ME AND MY SISTER.

WE DO NOT ASK FOR HERALDRY, OR PAEANS OR PRAISE.

WE ONLY ASK THAT.

TO BE REMEMBERED.

SPEAK OF ME TO MY CHILDREN. SPEAK OF HER TO HER CHILD.

DO NOT HOLD BACK, BE IT GOOD OR BAD, SANE OR FOOLISH.

THAT WAS ME. THAT WAS US. THAT WAS LIFE.


THERE IS ALWAYS A CALM BEFORE THE STORM.

AND THESE MOMENTS NEED NOT FADE AWAY FORGOTTEN.

REMEMBER ME. REMEMBER US.